I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
