how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
