There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
