Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
