Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
