Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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