Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
