your parents love me but you hate me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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