Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
