sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
