TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
