I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
