U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
