I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
