Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My life is pants optional.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
