Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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