If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so let's talk penis.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
