ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
