Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
