i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
