oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
