I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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