Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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