I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
