Non-Jews are for practice
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
