This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
