girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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