I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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