garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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