remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
