I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
