Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
