When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
try to milk me bitch
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
