I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
