I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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