Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
