He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
