Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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