just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just found a bag of teeth...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
