Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
organizing the empties. That sober.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
