I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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