Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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