if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
