i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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