Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
this hospital has no fireball
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize