what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
