Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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