Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
