i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize