my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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