I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
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