just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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