is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
