Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
