the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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