dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
