Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
