Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
