Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
