he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize