sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
