Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize