Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
