You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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