one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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