Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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