ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
